Difficulties

(I'll warn you... this is a loooooong entry... I blabbed a lot. So that's a fair warning. :) )

I mentioned in a mass email that this has been one of the most difficult years of my life. Someone responded that, while reading my blog, it certainly didn't sound like I was having a difficult time in Taiwan. So here are my reflections on that comment...

I suppose it's all a relative matter of perspective. It is true that I am not starving, I'm not being shot at, I'm not scraping to make a living or wandering the streets homeless. And I am thankful for that, very thankful. But I don't know why I am as blessed as I am to have food and water each day and a roof over my head. If being without those things is the definition of "difficult" one has, then yes, this year has been by no means difficult, rather it has been quite easy.

However, I am going on a different definition of difficulty. The definition I was usuing would go more along the lines of the one found in the Merriam-Webster dictionary... "1. Hard to do or make. 2. Hard to understand or deal with."

I am a first year teacher. Every teacher I've ever spoken to on the matter has agreed that the first year of teaching is often the most difficult. I am in a different culture. I don't understand what goes on around me a lot of the time. I'm learning a different language that is proving quite difficult or "hard to understand" for me. I've been diagnosed with depression and am being treated. I've missed and will miss more weddings of dear friends and other gathering and events in the life of people very dear to me in the States. I've been attacked and questioned in my beliefs this year (by myself and others) more than any other time in my life.

I guess my point is that I think it is (no offense) very silly for someone to say my blog doesn't support my claim to this being a difficult year. The circumstances themselves, despite any comments by me, would point toward this being a year of new and many challenges and difficulties. I try not to blog at all if I'm going to whine or bemoan circumstances. I do not see how that could be edifying to anyone. With my blog, I try to post news that is honest, but can also give encouragement and reminders of what I am continually learning about God's faithfulness and goodness. If you look at it, I do mention things that are hard for me, but often in ways that point to resolution as in pointing out a verse from the Bible that has been a comfort, saying just what I was feeling or crying over. In the mental and emotional anguish that I have felt this year, I have cried out many things to God... and like Job, have no understanding of any reason why. But what prevents utter despair is the faith that God gives... the eyes to see the Jesus Christ on the cross and the risen Jesus Christ, the conqueror of death and suffering. These are eyes that are full of hope and endurance.

And I think often we see "difficulties" as things that are "bad." On the contrary, some of my favorite things (in fact, maybe most of them) are difficult. My favorite classes in college were the ones that demanded the most work and focus. My favorite games are ones that make a person think about "difficult" strategy. One of my favorite pastimes - running - is not done because it's easy. The challenge is what makes it worth it. Even some bad things like the depression I've been dealing with, have already begun to bear good fruit. I am gaining new understanding and insight. I am able to see God's faithfulness even when my mind can't comprehend it. Praise God for the gift of faith He gives. It's the only thing real. All the sense I try to make of life leaves me confused and withdrawn. Only through the eyes of the faith and trust of a child is there any hope to be seen.

As a person who knows Christ as my Lord and Savior, I think perhaps that I perceive difficulties in a different manner than someone who does not. My Jesus says it plain that there will be difficulties in this world. Maybe not just the "smaller" ones I'm dealing with here.... but the "bigger" ones like living in the midst of war and death, living hungry, living homeless, living sick with no one to help. But it is my hope and prayer that, like Job, were the Lord to remove every blessing He has given me, I could still, by His grace, say the same as Job, "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." (Job 1:21) Job knew that God was God and trusted God to remain faithful and had the faith to see beyond the difficulty, the loss, the pain, and the suffering of the present time. Incredible.

Since God tells us that in this world we will have trouble (but to take heart because He has overcome it!... in John 16:33) I've actually sometimes been alarmed at the fact that I do seem to "have it so good." Like I said, I am generally healthy, I have family, I have food and clean water. I have a safe place to live and sleep at night. Truly incredible. Why do I have these blessings when so many do not? I don't know, but here're two other thoughts that follow:
1) Not to take those things for granted. All these things are temporary. The only garantee I have is that this world will bring it's share of trouble but thankfully, Christ has the final word and because of God's sacrifice for all people, I look toward a new, wonderful and eternal life with God.
2) In Luke 12:48, Jesus says, "...From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." This is what I understand those to be saying... Yes, God has given me many blessings, but does that mean I can just sit and enjoy them completely oblivious to the needs of so many around me? No! I've been given gifts and resources so that I may use them.... so that I can be God's hands and feet to those in need. Now, I know God provides ways for His people to do this, near and far. But maybe that's something worth thinking about all the more? How can I use my health? My money? My talents? My time? to meet the needs of those around me? We are called to share Christ's Gospel in words, oh yes, and in that to share hope that can see people through all times of challenge and blessing! However, we are also called to provide for the poor, the sick, the windows, the orphans... I don't think I remember that enough as I sink into the comfortable schedule of everyday life. Hmm. But how do we help in bigger ways? Maybe we can pray for more opportunity big and small and ask for the love and grace to make use of those opportunities to meet needs when we see them? What do you think?

At any rate, back to difficulties, here are some more verses that perhaps share some insight:

Romans 5:1-5 - 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 - 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

1 Peter 4: 12-14 - 12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.

Oh, and one of my favorite accounts in the Bible is in Acts 5:17-42. :) It is a wonderful story about God's faithfulness, and also God's people being persecuted because of His Name, and yet their incredible faith!

Wow. There are many more... practically all of God's Word speaks to the hope we have in and despite difficulties. But those are some verses I just found.

Hmm... and some of my favorite verses to remind me that suffering and difficulties (of any degree) are part of this life... but still are temporary as we hope in God... are the Psalms.

Okay. May the Lord Jesus Christ strengthen you in Him, encourage you in your faith, as you serve Him in the work set before you! :)

May He give you joy in hope and patience in affliction. (Romans 12:12).

Thank you for the continued prayers.

God's blessings to you in Christ Jesus, our RISEN Lord and Savior!

Footprints

At a nearby univeristy, some of the foreign teachers attend an English club. This last week, we had a scavenger hunt which was a ton of fun, but the last thing we had to do was write some Chinese characters (I didn't understand exactly what, but thankfully the Taiwanese people on our team did!) on the bottom of our feet.

Here is a picture of my team.... you can see my feet, but not me. I'll have to talk with the camera man.



The funniest part of all this is the next day I was teaching E-3 and I was working with a small group, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Well, we take off our shoes to go into the classrooms, and having worn sandals that day, I found myself barefoot and unaware that my students were finding me with purple Chinese characters written on the bottoms of my feet. Yeah, had fun explaining that one.

And here is my new language exchange partner, Miya... I help her with English conversation and she helps we with Chinese conversation.... guess who needs more help. (Yes, it's me..... by a landslide.) I'm so thankful for her!

The Cutest Ever...

Now, don't be too hurt, Mike, but I'm referring to Lily. :)

Some of God's Amazing Creatures

I appreciate animals. Somehow, I found myself talking about movies like "Milo and Otis" and "The Yellowstone Cubs" with another teacher, and realizing how much I really loved watching and laughing at animals.

Here are the animal stories from campus as of late.... and that means, since the slug incident.

Some of my students found a giant ant hill and were so excited about it that the next day we had a mini lesson about ants. I love it when kids get so excited about something... I wish I could show you a video or their expressions when they ran in and tried to explain to me how many ants they had seen, how big they were, and where they thought the queen ant was living.

A bat flew into my hair as I was walking to the front gate to meet my new language exchange partner. It didn't freak me out as much I thought it might have... probably because it happened so fast that it took me until the bat was well on its way back into the sky to realize what had just happened.

And my favorite new animal news...... Piddles! This is the latest stray dog that has made her home on campus and I think she is probably the second sweetest dog God ever made (after my Gretel of course.) I named her Piddles because she gets so excited when you give her attention that she.... piddles. She lets you pet her and when she wags here tail (which is most the time) the movement makes her whole body wiggle. I have a couple attempted pictures of her, but she didn't want to look at the camera... maybe because she doesn't want her true identity know, or maybe because she didn't like it flashing at her...who knows. I went online to look at this encyclopedia of dog breeds. I remember I always used to check out dog books from our library when I was little, and so it was like reliving one of those joyous memories. I spent entirely too long looking and reading about all the different breeds, trying to decide, even though she's a mutt, which breed she most closely resembled.

I'm just so glad that God made animals. I think they are many times blessings of comfort and cheer.

Here are the attempted pictures of Piddles:

Easter Day Festivities

There were three baptisms at our congregation on Easter Sunday including Lily's baptism! Praise the Lord! Then we hosted a BBQ, sang some Easter hymns, and played some games in the afternoon! Oh. And we watched Ben-Hur that evening. I had never seen that movie before, had no idea what it was about, and really found in fascinating! I was glad to see it! Okay, on with some pictures...

He is RISEN!

He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

Easter week was full of encouragement and joy! Easter day was simply wonderful! Without any extras, Easter is hands down my very favorite day of the year. The extras of lilies, music, food, and fellowship simply add to the joy!

Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here! He has risen just as He said!

I love it. Praise our victorious God who has conquered death and sin and gives us new life!

Here is some Easter artwork from a few of the kindergarteners:

False Alarm?

Today I met a giant slug that one of my students was poking at outside as we were lining up after being at the library. I, being the nature enthusiast that I am, grabbed it right away thinking, "Yes! Slimy! This is perfect! We just finished a unit on the five senses! Everyone feel the slug!" But the moment I grabbed it, the kids all started to yell like I had picked up an angry cobra. They entreated me to put down the slug and wash my hands immediately... or else I might get sick or die. Though I took their advice and washed my hands on the way back to the classroom, I asked another teacher about it later.

"Are slugs here poisonous?"
"No."
"Why did all the kids say I could die from touching it."
"Oh, because it could suck your blood."
"Isn't that a leech?"
"Yes, like a leech."

Well, there you have it. And this thing was seriously big enough that it probably couldn't taken a lethal amout of blood out of me... had it had any sort of mouth. Do slugs have mouths? I've got to research this stuff.

Blessings to you in Christ. Thanks for your continued prayers for the team here, and for the hearts of all those we work with and talk with daily.

In the words of Carole King...

"I feel the earth move under my feet."

I felt my second earthquake here this morning. (Well, at least the second one I remember thinking, "Wow, there is an earthquake," even though apparently, there have been many since I've been here.)

I was talking to my mom over my computer when suddenly it sounded - and felt - like someone had just dropped a semi truck from an airplane and it had hit the ground just outside my window.

"Um, just a second, Mom," I said, as some general shaking followed and my windows rattled. By this point I had also whipped the earphones off my head and was ready to run out the door. (I'm afraid the Practice Hotel doesn't exactly seem like the most sturdy place to be in case of an earthquake.)

Another, lesser, boom was the end of the shaking though just a moment later.

I came back to my computer and explained simply, "Oh, it was just an earthquake."

"What?! Really?!"

"Yeah. They happen all the time. But that was strange. It was like the ground dropped and there was a boom."

"Are you sure nothing exploded somewhere?"

"I don't know..." *Knock on my door* "Just a second, Mom."

I open the door to reveal Anne.

"What WAS that?!"

"I think it was an earthquake. Nothing to worry about."

"Ah."

Later in the office, Callie explained to us that those kind that drop are more dangerous than the ones that shake back and forth.

Pretty exciting morning.

I forgot the saxophone museum pictures...

Wow Weekend

For anyone from CUNE, the title of this entry may bring a "weekend of welcome" to mind that has absolutely nothing to do with this posting. However, it's still apropriate. This weekend was "WOW" busy and "WOW" blessed and "WOW" fun.

Saturday, some of the teachers and family members went on a biking trip! We biked for a good part of the day, and then when I thought we were heading home, we ended up going to a saxophone museum... which made me laugh because it's a perfect example of the randomness. Well, then we went to another, a DIFFERENT saxophone "museum" and THEN we went to yet a THIRD saxophone "museum" but this last one was really more a store and the guy there taught James and Joe how to play the saxophone. It was really funny because I had no idea what was going on. But we were all tired and sweaty from biking all day... why not go to a saxophone museum... or some saxophone museums. :) But it was a really good time with people from the office and out in very fresh and REfreshing air!











Today (Sunday) I was invited to a "BBQ" with one of my students, his family, and their whole neighborhood! The invitation said 10:00 to 4:00. I asked if it was okay if I came about an hour late after church and they said that was perfectly fine. I figured that five hours would be ample to spend at this event. I was very wrong! 4:00 rolled around and there was no talk of slowing down or leaving! In fact, a good game of BB started up, and then they decided that since they had so much food left over from lunch, that we would extend the BBQ through dinner... probably until 10:00. :-D I love it! It was a beautiful day and we sat and talked and I practiced Chinese and many people practiced English. I even met a lady from Indonesia and practiced the little Indonesian I picked up over the New Year. Oh, and my student's mother had requested that I bring my guitar and also "prepare some songs for karoake." Of course, what Taiwanese gathering would be complete without karoake? :-D It was very fun. People sang... loudly... including me... all day long. We ate.... all day long. I played guitar and sang. Other people played the guitar. One girl brought out her violin. It was way fun. We explored the campus of a nearby university and had a "plant stickies" fight (those little seeds that stick to your clothing). It was a pretty cool day. And by cool I mean cooooool, not cool. The weather actually was rather warm but a nice breeze kept things really rather pleasant. And I'm just not one to argue with higher tempteratures that require no jackets, no worries, I'd much rather deal with sweat that goosebumps. Oh, and for me, it ended up going until about 8:00 rather than 10:00. ( I've still got some work I wanted to get done tonight on an article and for classes this next week.)

Today was also significant because for the first time I felt almost "at home." It was strange and a beautiful thing. I played basketball like I might at home on a nice day with my siblings... I got a tour of a student's house and felt like I was at a cousin's house or something. I sat around and had really comfortable conversation with people all day... it was like a family reunion, except we were all singing and I had just met most of these people. But I think I won't eat for days I'm so stuffed. But also, I honestly liked all the food I had except for maybe one thing, which was a cool step. I'm developing my tastes for this cusine. And yet, I can't deny I'm looking forward to something other than this cuisine this summer.

Spring Rolls

This past Wednesday was Tomb Sweeping Day. It's something like our memorial day, where families go and clean and care for their past relatives' graves. Many also do the "bi bi" ancestral worship on this day. However, another part of the day is eating spring rolls. Another teacher had us all over to her house and taught us how to make these delicious, sweet, Taiwanese burritos! (That's what I called them!) Yum!

Odds and Ends

This is one of my new favorite snacks... you say it like "Goo-why. Goo-why." Except say that really fast and run the sounds together. Oh, and this is my favorite new snack in only certain flavors.... strawberry or cocnut. However, this bag (which flew off my scooter while I was taking it home from 7-11 so I had to go back and risk my life to salvage it... not really, but I did go back and pick it up off the street.) is NOT a flavor I so much care for. This bag is peanut butter shrimp flavor. A-humm.


This is my new favorite gum. It's like cough drop gum... except it's just gum. It's really something else. Potent. Or do they already have this in the States too and I'm just way behind?


This was last week's Chinese lesson. It is comparing the feel, smell, look, and "taste" (texture?) of bread and toast. Interesting! Enjoy!

Welcome, Lily!

We are glad to welcome Lily to the "family" here! Our coordinator and his wife have been wanting to adopt for a year and a half. Their prayers were answered with a big yes when they were introduced to Lily just a couple weeks ago! :) She is so precious! We are all very thankful to be here for her!

5 K

I was beside myself with joy as I got to take part in a city race this past EARLY Sunday morning! It also being the day of the half-marathon in St. Louis, it was extra special to be part of a race here on the same day! Seriously, though, this experience was both a joyful, HILARIOUS, and crowded, sweaty one!

Here are James, me, and Pastor Paul, getting pumped before we walked to the starting line. We registered too late to have actual numbers, but they gave us these coupons for a water bottle.

It was a beautiful morning and being out with a few thousand people for a run was just the thing to do! :)