I remembered that I had wanted to post about a friend of mine. He was a couple years behind me at college, but I always looked up to him. I remember I had prayed before, "God, please help me love people like Bobby does. He just loves people. He doesn't judge them. He doesn't care about who hangs out with who and who doesn't... He is just a friend. He shines You so brilliantly. That's how I want to be, Lord."
Whenever I talked with Bobby, his words were full of grace, of joy, of real things... of the hope and promise that is ours in Christ... he shared words to encourage me, he was funny, he was wise. He also was the one who came up to me one day as I was working at the campus center information desk and asked if I'd be interested in running a half marathon with him. I had never done anything like it before, but he knew I liked running, and was seeing if anyone else would be interested in doing that...I and a couple others were... I trained (and Bobby didn't :) ) and we ran the St. Louis Half Marathon side by side also with another friend, Chelsie. There wasn't anyone better to run that race with. The pictures we took after finishing are some of my favorite of all time. :)
Bobby would keep me posted about a friend of his doing mission work in Africa and was always excited to talk about it. The last time I saw Bobby, I think was when I ran into him at the church and gradeschool in St. Louis where I was doing my student teaching in the spring of 2005. (Either that, or it was when I visited campus that same spring and we inspected the picnic table pyramid that had been constructed sometime the night before?) He was from St. Louis and I was so excited to see him there when he was home for one of his breaks. As always, I remember laughing with him about some things, him asking lots of questions about what I was going to do next (I'm not sure I knew at that point if I'd take a teaching job in the States or go have an adventure overseas...) and I remember being encouraged and really curious to see what God would work in Bobby's life with his many gifts and talents.
This winter, at one point, I had just been telling a friend here, "You know, I've got a friend named Bobby. He's really amazing. Yeah, I'd marry him if he asked."
In February, it was one of those moments that you can't understand unless it's happened to you. Being on the other side of the world, I heard via email first, and I didn't believe my eyes. I had to read it again to see what it said, thinking I must have misread. Bobby had died. He was playing basketball and his heart stopped.
I don't know how to express grief very well. My heart breaks for my own loss of a friend, but all the more for the friends that were close with him, for his family... and right away, I cry out to God, "Why?!" Bobby had such a heart for sharing Christ... Bobby could have had such a long life of testimony to His Savior... touching so many with the love Jesus first showed us.
But I don't have all the answers. What I do know, without a doubt, is that Bobby is rejoicing with our Savior. God has welcomed him into the kingdom not because Bobby was an amazing person, but because Bobby has an amazing Savior who opened the gates for all people, who has paid the price for all sin, who has defeated death - Jesus Christ.
I cried and I still cry now sometimes when I think of not being able to see Bobby again this side of heaven - but as I shared with some people here - it's the best kind of grief. I cry and I feel miserable, but there is still this hope and joy brimming over in my heart. I do cry tears of sorrow, but I do not cry tears of despair. As one song says, taking words from the Bible, "We do not grieve as they who have no hope/ We're not abandoned orphans alone/Through Jesus, we're not walking 'round like this is all there is/ We're in this world, but we're not of it/ 'Cause we are His."
How do people survive grief without hope? This is what I don't understand. Grief with hope is sorrowful enough... how can one survive the pain of loss without knowing... or with fearing what may be or not be after death on this earth?
Perhaps others have ideas, but one thing I know - I can laugh and sing admidst the tears because of the hope and joy that swells in my heart when I think of Bobby and his Savior, who is also my dear Savior, and who is also your Savior.
You know what else, Bobby was an excellent dancer. I just have to say that, because he was. I always wanted to learn some moves from him. Golly, and now he's dancing away with our Savior. :)
I don't know if this post said what I wanted it to say. But when I started, I wanted to give testimony to the life of Bobby Maessen, the life that God gave and that God blessed abundantly. I wanted to share and record what an example he was to me, and how he gave me great encouragement, laughs, and courage in the few years I knew him. I wanted to shout out with joy about Bobby's faith in Jesus Christ and how that makes it possible to celebrate. Bobby died on a Sunday. His roommate shared that that morning at church, they had sung the hymn, "He's Risen, He's Risen!" and how they had discussed the sermon later that morning and Bobby had shared how he really liked that hymn and the significance of the hymn's message.
Bobby's work here had already touched and changed for the better so many. It's really incredible. Our brief life here on earth is in the hands of our God. I know that God must still have work for me here, lives to touch, words to share, care to give, mouths to feed, children to raise, songs to sing, all the possible work He still will work through me here... and I will thank God for each day and continue to serve Him as best as I can, though I fall so many times it seems, He always lifts me back up with forgiveness and a renewed heart... but I must say that I look with joy toward one day being with Jesus face to face and seeing all those gone before.
I remember at my Grandpa Bergquist's funeral, one man from my grandpa's company stood up and said, "Mr. Bergquist taught me that I don't have to be afraid to die." Those words struck me as a young teenager and I've always remembered that. We have such good news to share - news that we don't need to be afraid. Because of Jesus Christ, we can have abundant life - both now - and to come.
I also remember an "interview" that my dad videotaped with my greatgrandparents many years back. He was asking them about their childhood and life, how they met, funny stories and other memories. At one point, he asked, "What advice would you like to share with your children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren?" My greatgrandpa replied, "Keep the faith."
I think I'm unique to have this legacy to look back on. But it does show how we can affect the lives of those that come after us... how anything from anger to revenge to faith and love have the potential to shape the lives of our children, grandchildren, and so forth... My prayer is that we all may pass on the testimony of the faith God has worked in our hearts and the love that Christ has shown the world... and that we may drop any resentment, fear, or anger we carry.
Okay, I'm getting wordy here again, but maybe that's okay since I've not actually written anything in such a long time...
Bobby, I miss you, and will keep missing you, no doubt. I'm so thankful that I can know though that you're okay! I look forward to running and dancing with you again someday.
God's peace to you all, in Christ.
